I’ve decided to briefly entertain and pick your brains with one of these unique and random thoughts. How about phobias? A phobia is known as a persistent, irrational fear of a specific object, activity, or situation that leads to a compelling desire to AVOID it. In the study of phobias, we find several intriguing ones like: Medorthophobia- Fear of an erect penis (I’m not kidding); Ballistophobia- Fear of missiles or bullets (shit, I think I suffer from this one); Pluviophobia- Fear of rain or of being rained on; Mageirocophobia- Fear of cooking (some females suffer from this one); and how about Obesophobia aka Pocrescophobia- The Fear of gaining weight. The latter, will be our topic of discussion.
As I focus on the definition of the word PHOBIA, I can’t fail to notice something. Hmmmm… What can it be? Good Lawd! Holy Shit! America suffers from OBESOPHOBIA! They’re afraid, terrified of being categorized as a FAT country. They (the nation) went from spending most of their commercial time and money on “the baby-boomers” to now focusing all of their energy on the “boomers” aka us chubby folk. What? The “baby-boomers” stopped buying all the Fixodent and Ben gay you were trying to sell them? You couldn’t get them to believe that that lady from “I’ve fallen and I can’t get up” fell for real? I’m not going to get to political on this topic, although I feel it’s a move to get more money out of us, but I’m just going to brush the surface with it.
As most of you may already know, a law was passed in New York City, that as of July 18th of this year, chain restaurants (with 15 or more outlets), or 10 percent of New York’s restaurants, were now required to place a calorie count next to the items prices. Now everywhere you go, those little numbers are staring at you dictating what your next meal should be, when in fact your taste buds are craving for something else. Can I be as innocent as a child when I have a meal and enjoy it just for the simple and wonderful reason that it arouses my numerous taste buds? No! Somebody had to come and mess that up as well. Un-freaking-believable! Un-freaking-believable! Just when you thought things were getting worse, with gas prices, global warming, and the never ending war, now I have to consciously know the exact fraction, percentage and quantum physics of calories that I’m in taking per bite/per second. You’re kidding me right?
So ok, I’m not going to be ignorant to the fact that we should be healthy and all, and that being morbidly obese may cause great harm to your body, and life, but shouldn’t information like calorie count be up to the consumer to follow-up on? If I want to have a double quarter pounder with cheese, which by the way I converted to from the famous Big Mac about 7 years ago, then let me have one in peace. If I'm interested in the calorie breakdown, I’ll ask! Been to Dunkin Donuts lately? Why must I freaking know, that a delicious glazed donut is 230 calories, and that a banana walnut muffin is 540 calories, and that I shouldn’t wash that down with a medium size coolatta because that’s 560 calories. Geez, I’m going to be traumatized FOREVER!
Sam Kinison (b. 12/8/53- d. 4/10/92) one crazy ass controversial yes hilarious comedian. Check this classic clip out lol.
Notorious B.I.G(b. 5/21/72- d. 3/9/97): Arguably the greatest EVER!
Big Pun (b. 11/131971-2/7/00): The greatest latin rapper to ever hold a mic.
Chris Farley (b. 2/15/64- d. 12/18/97) : He was my favorite comedian.
Eat what you like and be merry! Celebration Bitches!