Thursday, August 21, 2008

What's Your Problem? Volume 1. Does America suffer from Obesophobia?

So, I was inspired by a friend to begin my own blog, and after other folks agreed with that notion, I said what the hell. Being someone constantly filled with random thoughts, and several none important, yet interesting topics, I thought a blog would be a good way to share my mental ventilation as I like to call it.

I’ve decided to briefly entertain and pick your brains with one of these unique and random thoughts. How about phobias? A phobia is known as a persistent, irrational fear of a specific object, activity, or situation that leads to a compelling desire to AVOID it. In the study of phobias, we find several intriguing ones like: Medorthophobia- Fear of an erect penis (I’m not kidding); Ballistophobia- Fear of missiles or bullets (shit, I think I suffer from this one); Pluviophobia- Fear of rain or of being rained on; Mageirocophobia- Fear of cooking (some females suffer from this one); and how about Obesophobia aka Pocrescophobia- The Fear of gaining weight. The latter, will be our topic of discussion.

As I focus on the definition of the word PHOBIA, I can’t fail to notice something. Hmmmm… What can it be? Good Lawd! Holy Shit! America suffers from OBESOPHOBIA! They’re afraid, terrified of being categorized as a FAT country. They (the nation) went from spending most of their commercial time and money on “the baby-boomers” to now focusing all of their energy on the “boomers” aka us chubby folk. What? The “baby-boomers” stopped buying all the Fixodent and Ben gay you were trying to sell them? You couldn’t get them to believe that that lady from “I’ve fallen and I can’t get up” fell for real? I’m not going to get to political on this topic, although I feel it’s a move to get more money out of us, but I’m just going to brush the surface with it.

So the question arises; does the world, or better put, this nation of ours have a thing against obese aka fat aka big boned aka chubby people? I don’t know, but they’ve made it seem like being overweight is practically illegal. I can’t comprehend what crime we’ve committed but over the past decade or so they have had a tendency of trying to “help us”; “correct us”; “change us”. It’s not enough with letting us know that we’re a bit on the big side; on both sides of the family; tipping the scale; a little too big for comfort, or whatever else they call us! They want to bash it into our heads.

As most of you may already know, a law was passed in New York City, that as of July 18th of this year, chain restaurants (with 15 or more outlets), or 10 percent of New York’s restaurants, were now required to place a calorie count next to the items prices. Now everywhere you go, those little numbers are staring at you dictating what your next meal should be, when in fact your taste buds are craving for something else. Can I be as innocent as a child when I have a meal and enjoy it just for the simple and wonderful reason that it arouses my numerous taste buds? No! Somebody had to come and mess that up as well. Un-freaking-believable! Un-freaking-believable! Just when you thought things were getting worse, with gas prices, global warming, and the never ending war, now I have to consciously know the exact fraction, percentage and quantum physics of calories that I’m in taking per bite/per second. You’re kidding me right?

So ok, I’m not going to be ignorant to the fact that we should be healthy and all, and that being morbidly obese may cause great harm to your body, and life, but shouldn’t information like calorie count be up to the consumer to follow-up on? If I want to have a double quarter pounder with cheese, which by the way I converted to from the famous Big Mac about 7 years ago, then let me have one in peace. If I'm interested in the calorie breakdown, I’ll ask! Been to Dunkin Donuts lately? Why must I freaking know, that a delicious glazed donut is 230 calories, and that a banana walnut muffin is 540 calories, and that I shouldn’t wash that down with a medium size coolatta because that’s 560 calories. Geez, I’m going to be traumatized FOREVER!

I say enough with all this crap already. This is a free and democratic country, and we should have the right to eat whatever the hell we want and it should be cool. Beauty is in the eye of the freaking beholder right? So, behold my big ASS and my “chichos” aka love handles, as I strut my stuff right past you. That’s right! We sexy!

And In honor of this subject, here's a tribute to some chubby folks that are no longer with us, but while they were here, made being chubby the thing to Be! R.I.P my brothers.

Sam Kinison (b. 12/8/53- d. 4/10/92) one crazy ass controversial yes hilarious comedian. Check this classic clip out lol.

Notorious B.I.G(b. 5/21/72- d. 3/9/97): Arguably the greatest EVER!

Big Pun (b. 11/131971-2/7/00): The greatest latin rapper to ever hold a mic.

Chris Farley (b. 2/15/64- d. 12/18/97) : He was my favorite comedian.

Eat what you like and be merry! Celebration Bitches!


Renu said...

Beautifully written.....funny as hell too! I definitely agree with you Ernie....about America having obesophobia......i know i suffer from bueno, i know......i think it all depends on how you feel about yourself...if you are overweight and happy in your own skin, then so be it....but if you are not happy with your self-image, then do something to change it! And yes there ARE some fine looking "chubby" people just as there are some very unattractive "skinny" folks......the perfect example would be Star Jones....she is freakishly skinny right now, and looks horrible.....she looks morbid.....she had so much more personality and "life" when she was bigger....and about the calorie count displayed in restaurants.....yes i cannot go into any restaurants now w/o those numbers staring back at me.....and being someone who has a constant struggle with weight, yes i walk away.....i haven't yet decided if that is a good thing or a bad thing yet.....i guess we will see the results of this "experiment" in a few years right?

Anywayz, love the blog! Love u!

JEGZ aka Black Casanova said...

Thanks nunu, I'm glad you liked it. I try to speak the truth, and only the truth lol.

So Yon said...

That's right. We sexy!
No apologies necessary.

Kudos to you, Julio, for starting this. Totally makes sense. Looking forward to more good stuff...

tu amiga,
So Yon

Mr Bru Cru said...


So I was sitting at work saying Swirl Twirl To myself, and I decided to read your blog for the third time...LOL

I love it son, it speaks the truth, and of annoyingness..LOL
Id hate for my food to be monitored calorie wise...It totally makes you not enjoy the meal..but fuck it..We out to Mcdonalds...LOL

JEGZ aka Black Casanova said...

Thank So Yon and Zak. Yo Zak, guess what, I had a double quarter pounder for lunch today. And I didn't even bother looking at the calorie label. Celebration Bitches! Be free...Be Merry! lol.

Biga173rd said...

Biga173rd Comment for Julio:

That was the funniest shit ever dialo son you read the mines of all us fat people. Son it's tru i hate dunkin donuts now becuase of that calorie reader fuck who ever made this idea i hate you with a passion and i want to sit on you with my 300 pound ass mother fucker fuck you!! i can never cheat now cuase you want to guilt trip the hell out of me blow your calorie count out of your ass i'm going to a chime truck asshole yea calorie count these nuts in your mouth fagets!! ok we may now return to regular schedule program sex in the city lol!!!